Zombie Status Updates







Undeadhotgirlie thinks Rachelzomba is a dog hater.

FriendlyZombie found a friend that she is having trouble not eating. James I *heart you!

ZeeZomba needs help catching squirrel, will share.

NomNomZee freindemeies tried to nom, nom, NomNomZee not happy funnie tyme. may smaashie dem.

BobtheZombie is upset that "The International" sucked so bad.

Zombiehater needs more .25-caliber bullets.

Rachelzomba is totally over Undeadhotgirlie's shit. I never said anything, Bunny6dead is the ho you need to talk at. And I know you nibbled on Justin, Bunny! I know you did!

GotBrains4me has anyone else seen this? And is freaking out a bit? http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/recordedattacks/ I told you we were being tracked! I told you!!!

Zombie654243 brians dsklhasdf efw endmasdf brainasdnasdflkds.asdf erhhdfs

Day 9: Complaint Department

Not again... Is this the only guy reading my blog. Great, I'm more pathetic than I thought.

Dear The Geek Zombie,

You got caught eating a scarecrow! Man, that has got to suck for you! Ha! Oh, and still not dead.

Much love,
Frank

Dearest Franky-kins,

In this life, nor in your undead next, will you ever suck as much as you do at this exact moment. It is just a matter of time my friend. Just remember, zombies may move slow, but there's a shitload of them.

Happy Dying!
-The Geek Zombie

* * *

Day 8: What was I thinking?




Sometimes when you go out on the town for a night of drinking, you end up a king with an adoring queen.






And sometimes you wake up being a king, but with a queen that drives you so crazy you are about to fall over.








Yet, sometimes you get lucky and she's just a small stuffed scarecrow loving your button eyes.




Or you end up like me: half sober realizing that you are being laughed at uncontrollably by rednecks while you are gnawing on the stomach of a pink scarecrow cowboy while muttering, "This is a great date. I love what you have done with the place! Honestly, I think I love you. No, really you like watching cartoons in your underwear! I do too!"


Last time I go for a bite outside of an Applebee's at 2am on a Sunday $2 Pint Night.

Day 7: Day of Rest

Zombie Status Updates





ZeeZomba still can't catch that squirrel. Needs larger net.

NomNomZee send moore, got new freindemeies to nom, nom happy funnie tyme! 4 u!

Undeadhotgirlie thinks Rachelzomba is just jealous of the wet seal shirt i stole off that body in at the shell gas station last night.

FriendlyZombie needs a hug.

Zombie654243 463tx 76 rf w7u65 6tu4r5 04.104.15tedr h r t0410 nb

Undeadhotgirlie loves her zombie puppy.

Rachelzomba hopes Undeadhotgirlie 's dog gets hit by a car.

GotBrains4me was tagged by CDC yesterday and isn't very happy about it.

Zombiehater doesn't understand why zombies out number us. I've been killing at least 50 a day. Had to shoot Mr. Westernton yesterday. good man, fought in the first war. RIP-again

Day 6: Saturday Poem

Round and Round by The Geek Zombie

Crumbled carnival tickets,
Once scattered the ground.
Now, tainted with shotgun shells,
dead undead bodies,
and Woody Harrelson's maniacal laugh.

I take my ticket and walk away.
Tossing up hands, crying, smiling,
Yelling "I don't know!"

I cannot say that I am more mature than the next man.
Yet, I know I am.
I do not throw stones in glass houses,
I do not act to know,
Admittedly that ignoring questions of cosmology, theology
Roots in finding it all boring and snoring.

There's popcorn on the ground,
I crunch them under my shoe,
Reminded of childhood and crushing olives.

I cannot say I am more mature that the next friend.
Trying to mend arguments with solace servitude,
thoughts brought in pissing contests,
Burlap bags filled with my god is better than your god candies.

Hot-dogs on sticks, coke cans, and sad
stuffed animals left in garbage pails.
All hails! to the parking lot!
where children once cried for once more turn on the Ferris wheel.

Now, tainted with shotgun shells,
dead undead bodies,
and Woody Harrelson's maniacal laugh.

Day 5: Scientists suck

It doesn't happen very often, but every once in again I have to deal with those wacky scientists that want to talk to me, or they want to test me, or they want to tag me and catalog me. Don't they know I have some devolving to do?

I don't need another tag hanging from my ear. I'm good. The last one pulled my left bottom ear lobe off. I still feel off balance.

Why can't they bother this guy:

Seriously, he looks like he has things covered. The guy has to be smart because not only is he wheeling himself, but he managed to goat a zombie, who let's face it probably isn't that smart (maybe it is Frank), into pushing his ass around! This guy is going place! And taking brains with him!

He has got to be more interesting than an almost zombie that can type.

* * *

Day 4: Complaint Department

Sooner or later someone would complain:

Dear The Geek Zombie,

Your poetry sucks!

Cheers!
Frank

Now I won't resort to making fun of Frank. I won't resort to childish antics that involve me telling him that he sucks and his mom sucks, that would be pointless. It would go on and on, to the point that Frank would keep emailing and I would keep telling him how much he sucks like third-world toilets suck. It just doesn't seem that relevant to waist my time on explaining to Frank that sometimes when you email a complaint you have to have more than, "you suck."

So this is from me to you Frank.

Dear Frank,

Making a zombie with some remaining cognitive planning and plotting skills, angry in a post-apocalyptic society where zombies out number humans, probably not the smarted plan. Oh, and the ability to figure out your IP address, which tells the zombie where you live. Not the smartest tool in the shed are ya?

Happy Dying!

Sincerely,
The Geek Zombie

* * *

To submit your own complaint email The Geek Zombie at thegeekzombie@gmail.com

Day 3: Zombie Moment One

photos taken at Zombie Walk Atlanta October 2009 by The Geek Zombie

* * *

Day 2: The Written Word

Below is a poem. Nothing-complicated just words from an ancient past that once had meaning. Words that I kept near me while writing late at night. Poem post zombie-bite and mid-transformation come out weird and don't make much sense:

Example of shitty post zombie-bite poem:

Uneventful by The Geek Zombie

Drag, thud.
Draaaaag, sniff, thud.
Draaaaag, breath out, finish dragging, thud.
Draaaaag, thud, whine.
Huh?
Honk, Honk, honk, bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeew-ip, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeh.
Drag, Thud, Drag, Thud, Drag Thud, Drag, Thud....
eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeh.
Drag, Thud, Drag, Thud, Drag Thud, Drag, Thud....
Brai.....stop.
sniff-breath out, groan.
Drag, thud.
Draaaaag, sniff, thud.
voice: "zombie cat?"
Groan.
voice: "damn-it."
Groan. Groan, sad face, sniff, and wave hand in distain.
Drag, thud.
Draaaaag, sniff, thud.
Draaaaag, breath out, finish dragging, thud.

See, terrible. It doesn't make any sense at all. It just sits there being confusing and annoying. Plus, who talks to a zombie anyway. It is sad isn't it. That once a brain starts to go it really goes. I have to save some piece of me, some part that isn't constantly thinking about what you would look like torn open. My stomach turns thinking about it, and I don't know if the turning sound is a good thing or a bad thing.

Which isn't to say that it is a bad thing, I mean have you ever imagined...

No, writing and posting. Writing and posting. Writing and posting, Writing and posting. Post.

Right, post about what. Reading up. Oh, yeah poetry pre-zombie-bite, that is better to prove point. Right, good. Posting. Copying from archive and posting.

Example of Poem Pre-Zombie-Bite

The Reply

Excuse me?
Can you answer a question for this we?
Our generation may have its controversies but what is this complacent aftershock?
Will it reverberate for long?
Will it stew across decades?

He told me: change comes with tension.
She said, “Modern contemporaries had WWII,
Segregation, and a multitude of deaths…
Innocently murdered by thoughts of indignation.”

I asked, “who will we blame?”

“Death comes in many colors,” they said.
“We have lost many brothers,
Where were you when terror filled this land?”
I wondered, later, “it was you that held my hand?
Or let it go?”

Tell me, where will we go from here?
To conventions of controversy
Or to Bomb shelters full of fears and uncertainty?

How will this new generation of writers tell their stories?
What is it that makes you have all the glories?
Since all you gave me was a fallen iconic image of ash-covered hate.

* * *

Day 1: Finding the Interweb

This isn't to say that the Internet hasn't been a useful tool. It has just been there for social networking, emailing and Google-ing things that need to be Google-d. It has been over there, looming and calling back to the universe screaming. "No, No, No, you have to update your facebook."

With that, this blog has no other purpose then that of which to be a place for stuff and things to be posted. From photos, to webcomicish photos, confusions, poetry, rantings, and things that come around long enough to be thought about or written down.

This is an attempt to dump the weird that is left in my half dead brain before full zombie-ification occurs. Doctor's say it should take "time," which doesn't mean much in doctor speak, but does mean enough to scare the ever lovin' crap, out of me.

Thus, Day 1 begins with a confusing post about why I am doing this.

Simply: cuz I can.

* * *

Zombie Research.






When looking up information on Zombies occasionally an interesting bit of information comes up. Such as the below image. Sharing is caring. And just as a side note, if someone like Britney were to start "looking like a zombie" either kill or run. Just a thought is all.

Click to Enlarge

Zombie Status Updates





FriendlyZombie thinks that sometimes while we are misunderstood life isn't too bad.

Zombie654243 ..fasdnf;okewsdlfavc p'kl;jmgrews.

ZeeZomba still can't catch that squirrel.

Undeadhotgirlie how exactly does one curl undead hair. I mean it totally doesn't make sense that my hair is falling out, I am half alive.

Zombie654243 .0121200.589026320527010/.iosgadf vc

Undeadhotgirlie note to self don't curl dead hair, it falls out. seriously ladies.

NomNomZee send more alive people. me naheed dem. wount killem jud bitttey nom nom arme.